To Debate or Not? ...Avoiding Confrontation

I've learned over the years that there are some very simple ways to keep my diet out of conversation. The only real way to figure out how to handle these situations is to experience them and learn from what does and doesn't work, but I've compiled a list of some things that have worked for me in the past that might be worth giving a shot.

1) Know the restaurant's menu before going out to eat, if you can. If you don't have to struggle with the menu and the waiter, you won't draw nearly as much attention to yourself.

2) Try not to order something too complicated. This helps, for one, because the chances are better your meal will come out of the kitchen correctly and you won't have to deal with whether to send it back or not. But more importantly, this helps because, by not playing 20 questions with your waiter, you're not bringing any unnecessary attention to your "needy" diet.

3) Okay, this may incredibly seem silly, but it's something I've been doing for years: Don't order a salad. For whatever reason, non-vegetarians seem to think that all a veg*an can eat is salad. The salad shows up on your plate, and the pity party begins. I've seen it happen too many times. I've also noticed that since I started ordering things other than salads at restaurants, my friends have made more positive comments like "Man, I didn't know that was vegan, that's not bad." Like I said, this may seem silly, but I hardly get the "That stinks that all you can have is the house salad" pity party anymore.

4) If someone does ask about your diet, it would help to stay vague about your beliefs. Of course, if you're with friends and enjoy debate, dive in head first. But with total strangers (or your partner's parents, for example), keep your comments short and simple. Saying something quick like "It's for my health" or "It's environmental reasons" is easily discarded or accepted. But by going into a lengthy explanation right away, you’re only asking for people to feel like they have to continue the conversation.

5) Sarcasm does not do well in debates, whether you’re trying to spark it or end it. You’re going to make people mad, and people don’t think so rationally when they feel attacked. If someone says something offensive and you’d rather just end the conversation before it turns into a debate, a quick sarcastic comment isn’t going to end it. Try to bite your tongue, let the comment slide, and just be glad the conversation was cut short before you said something you’d later regret.

These are just five of the many things that have worked for me in the past. Check out some Internet sites (such as 49 Reasons For Being a Vegetarian) and online message boards (such as VeggieBoards or Vegan-Forum) for more information and suggestions on what to do in these potentially uncomfortable situations.